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I have made a decision to concentrate on my mark making and drawings.
Drawing is what I turn to for me, it is very self indulgent and takes many hours of my days.
I try to balance my self indulgence and give to others and this is where textiles comes in, it is something I do to nurture others, keep them warm, make them smile and so on, it’s about reaching outwards.
Whereas drawing is about going inside of me, searching inside for conversations about a plethora of topics. I very rarely plan drawings over and above the paper I will use and the range of colours for my mark making, sometimes there is a focus, something I want to meditate upon; after that my pen is a dowsing rod and discovers what the page is willing to share.
It is the act of drawing, the process that allows me to sift the information, stimulus, sounds, words, images etc that float around inside my mind like a primordial cauldron bubbling up from below the membrane of my subconscious, the dwelling place of The Real; sometimes my thoughts surprise me and I wonder who this other ‘me’ is; it’s like accessing the quadrant of a Johari Window where neither others nor myself know things about me.
From this process of meditative mark making I will be motivated to create either prose or poetry and sometimes I record them alongside the visual outpouring.
This process has its routes in trauma, which I care not to share, it’s just reliving the trauma, so I devised a new meaning of the acronym PTSD – Pens, Tea, Silence, Drawing.